My 26th year of life has begun.
It didn’t come with a whole bunch of bells and whistles. Rather it came like that moment you realize it’s exactly 12am and you think to yourself ‘Wow… it’s my birthday. Happy birthday to me!’ Immediately, I was overcome by the feeling of real contentment and happiness that rises from the inside. Externally, my dad, sister and I had just gotten home from a movie to a quiet house and I was alone with my thoughts after a quick call from my mum. When I took the time to consider my life again, I found that I am actually happy and I have been happy for a while now. Regardless of what I think I don’t have or haven’t obtained as yet, when it all boils down to it, I couldn’t really find much more to ask for than what I already have right now. Even when I tried to tell my friends what I wanted for my birthday, I came up so short for things because outside of one specific thing (God knows what it is and no it ain’t a bae lol), I have all that I need:
My family and all their crazy, not so perfect love and support,
My church and church family as my bedrock,
My amazing, yet ever-so shady friends who I would never trade,
A ‘work in progress’ relationship with my Lord and Saviour that is legit getting better,
Peace, assurance, joy, grit, an ever growing clarity of purpose and determination with little emotional mess.
It feels like a coming of age, a standing in one’s shoes, a sureness of step, a shift into more good things.
I like this person I have become, the woman I have become. She’s pretty cool. Still got a few ducks out of line but she is getting there, bit by bit.
I find myself considering all things including what I look like at 26. Have you ever noticed that when you think of yourself, you look alittle different than in reality? Not totally different but in our minds, we tend to construct the kind of self we would like to see as opposed to what we really look like. Smaller waist, bigger booty, toner figure, longer hair, nails, legs, etc, etc. I am pushing myself to accept who I am and what I look like right now in the mirror. Big cheeks that transform my face into a full moon when I smile, a people’s eye-brow, thick arms and legs that could only be genetic, every mole, every ripple, every mark… all mine. And I’m beautiful with all of it. Seems like the road to acceptance is a life long journey full of small daily steps.
I’m excited about life and living, even when it gets its toughest because deep down inside I know Who is in control and because of that I know it’ll all work out. My constant prayer has been ‘Lord, just keep me alive. I don’t want to miss anything that You’ve got in store.’ Every moment of this life is precious and I’m truly grateful to look ahead at the many tomorrows of 26. But until those tomorrows come, it feels so good to be 26 today! #JCMD